A Day of Thanks: Veteran's Day 2009

A day of appreciation and a day of thanks to those who sacrificed and served our country. Also a continued thanks those who are serving now. Whether in time of war or time of peace, it was not without some cost to those men and women who swore an oath to serve our nation. A special thank you to those parents and spouses who have loved ones currently serving our nation. No one understands the heartache and burden that you carry in your heart. God bless you all and God bless the United States of America.


Pictured above, Alfredo Guitron Sr. (Sgt. USA)



Pictured above, Ken Gomes (Msgt USAF)


Pictured above, John Steggell (Msgt USAF)


Pictured above, Miguel Rodriguez Corianno (USAF/USCG)


Pictured above, Mark Jagneaux (Ssgt USAF)


Pictured above, Tsgt Ed Valenti (USAF)


Pictured above Kerryann Combs (SMsgt USAF/AFRES)


Pictured above, Kelly M. Sanderson, (Tsgt USAF)


Pictured above Jerry Turley (Msgt USAF) and Zoila Turley (Msgt USAF)


Pictured above on the right, Nate Katzenmeyer (USAF)


Pictured above Lance Keylon (Msgt. USAF)


Pictured above Msgt April Andersen (USAF)


Pictured above, Jay Riendel (1Lt. USAF) with Msgt. John Steggell


Pictured above, Robert "Beetle" Bailey (Tsgt USAF)


Pictured above, Paul Teso (SRA USAF)


Pictured above Sergeant Dennis Kemper (USMC)


Pictured above Lance Corporal Brendan Jeffs (USMC)


Pictured above me, SrA (USAF)

Kevin R. Price (Tsgt ANG), Jerry Wernli (CPL USMC), Sean D. Sinclair (Msgt USAF), David Faber (SMsgt USAF),Kevin Fitzgerald (USMC), Don Boucher (Maj AFRES), Lonnie Blue (Lt. Col USAF), Stan Bishop (Tsgt. USAF), Audrey Honan (Tsgt. USAF), Terry Yost (USAF), SMsgt Richard Cunningham (USAF), Jason Grahling (USAF), SRAs Jason and Sunshine Radford, Norman San Juan (Tsgt USAF), Charles Scott (Tsgt USAF), Jim Mays (Tsgt. USAF), SRA Todd Regonini (USAF), Andrea "Cookie" Cook (USAF), David Simmons (Tsgt USAF), Sgt. Rocky Warren (USA), Petty Officer 2nd Class Larry Clark (USN), Petty Officer 3rd Class Rudy Preis (USN), Sergeant Eric Hintze (USMC), Sergeant Dennis Kemper (USMC), Staff Sergeant Robert Mike Thompson (Mikey Bob) USAF, SrA Chad Schmidtke (USAF), TSgt. Ray Edison (USAF), SRA Bert Houser (USAF), AIC Randy Padilla (USAF), Petty Officer 2nd Class Chris Slane (USN)

Last but not least USAF Sra. Adam Stewart who was my friend and was killed during a night-time training exercise while working as a helicopter flight engineer on September 3rd, 1998.

Adam, thank you for all you have given to me and my family...



~me

Message To My Troops: Veteran's Day Salute

With Veteran’s day tomorrow, I wanted to take the time to recognize those individuals who entered into service of our nation. I also want to recognize those who have children that are in service to our nation. While those veterans who served knew the possibilities and sacrifices which may be asked of them, none of us felt the heartache of those we left behind, who prayed for our safe returns every night. So to those parents and spouses who have children or loved ones who are currently serving, a special thank you for keeping not only your loved ones in your prayers, but those who serve alongside your loved ones as well.

I have mentioned it before; that those of us in service to our communities now in law enforcement, share the same sense of duty of those who are currently serving or have served in our nation’s armed forces. We all do it for love of country, for our belief in our nation’s principles, and for the opportunity and individuality provided by what makes America what it is. A document which guaranteed certain inalienable rights, a document which when written and signed, was certainly a death sentence to those who bore the wisdom and foresight to lay the foundation of freedom that Americans have died and sacrificed for the past two hundred and thirty-three years.

While many of us have our varying beliefs and principles, we are all aligned with the founding documents of our nation. While we may struggle internally at times, we all know, that what makes this country great has not come from a singular idea or voice. It has come from all of us, everyone who has ever dreamed of a better life, whether they were a pioneer exploring an ever expanding western wilderness, a slave who secretly learned to read under threat of the lash by his master, or an immigrant reaching the far shores of America. The one thing they all had in common, was a promise of a better life, written on parchment, signed under the pain of treason, which was fought for and continues to be defended, with the lives of a people who call themselves Americans.

To those who have served, I personally want to thank you. You answered a calling and stood up in defense of your families, your friends, and for people who you will never meet or who will never know your name. You did not seek recognition or monetary reward. You only sought the continuance of a great nation’s progression, and the promise of those freedoms and opportunities, ensuring they are passed down to our children and to the generations that will come when we are gone from this earth.

It is with great respect and solemnity that we as a nation honor you, the United States Veteran, for the sacrifices made and the pain endured that has allowed us as a people to continue the privilege and honor of calling ourselves Americans…

Armis Exposcere Pacem

Alfredo Guitron Jr., Sergeant

Put Me In Coach...

I have received official confirmation that I have passed my written lieutenant's examination. I am now scheduled for an interview with a panel of administrators who will ask me a series of questions. The results of my answers and my overall presentation will provide my Sheriff with my overall ranking among the candidates for lieutenants. I have only one thing to say in regards to how I feel right now...

Put me in coach - I'm ready to play - today, look at me - I can be Center-Field...



~me

To Infinity and Beyond...

This is the part I hate the most. The waiting and the wondering. In a few hours I will be taking my lieutenant's written examination. I forgot how difficult it is to study at home while the kids are screaming or how difficult it is to start studying after being wiped out from a long day. I have tried to narrow the scope of my research to those topics that I feel are pertinent. Now the nagging feeling comes into play; did I focus in on the right things? Did I study too much? Not enough? One thing is for sure, I will find out tomorrow morning at 0900 Hrs.

I will be testing against my peers, many of which I have the utmost respect for. People I would enjoy working for. People who I have worked for previously. I am officially the sergeant with the least amount of seniority on the candidates list. I do not feel that this will limit me, it is actually a nice sense of relief. Hopefully, if I pass the written portion of the lieutenant's exam; the oral board won't see me coming. Whatever the case may be I'm going to do the best I can. After that, it's a matter of placement and whether or not the Sheriff decides that you are a fit on his management team.

As I walked out of the courthouse today, word had obviously gotten out to the bailiffs and the security officers of what was happening tomorrow. They offered their best wishes with the caveat of also letting me know, that while they would wish for my promotion, they did not want to lose me either. I would laugh and tell them that they had higher expectations of me than I had, but I thanked them for the well wishes. I walked away hoping that I would not let anyone down.

So I sit here tonight, quickly jotting down my thoughts before going over a few last notes. Regardless of what happens the next few weeks, I have much to be thankful for. I can look back at my life and be proud of what I have accomplished to date. I choose now to look ahead and continue moving forward until my feet can carry me no further...

~me

I'm Covered...

A few weeks ago my daughter was scheduled for surgery. My main concern at the time was of the general anesthesia that my daughter was going to be placed under. The procedure was to be performed on her hand to fix what the doctor's referred to as "Trigger thumb". The procedure itself would take anywhere from three to five minutes but they would still need to put her under. It was an awful feeling to have my daughter wheeled away by strangers although Heidi and I never said it, we both knew what could happen and of the fact that there was a possibility that she might not ever wake up. We held each other, said a little prayer to ourselves and waited.

The procedure went well and in no time we were reunited with my daughter who woke up upset at having a bandage on her hand. The staff at the hospital was very nice, and I was thankful that my little munchkin came through with flying colors. Her "trigger thumb" is gone and she now has full use of her thumb. She never complained of pain after the surgery and it's been over a week now. She is my little trooper.

While waiting at the hospital it was difficult not to think about the current health care issue that faces our nation today. While I am very fortunate to have medical coverage for myself and my family, I couldn't help to think about those that do not. Is their love for their children or their love of life any less than mine? What would happen if I became injured and could no longer work for the department? To say that I would be covered is wishful thinking, I know deputies who have been injured on duty and are fighting the county for their benefits. This is a reality of what Americans deal with on a daily basis. Money is involved and somehow we forget humanity, duty and obligation. It amazes me that people who are covered don't think there is a problem. Even our veterans who have been injured while in service to our nation have difficulty receiving the medical care that they need. In the hierarchy of honorable deeds, I can think of none higher than those who serve our nation and our way of life in defense of our country. I think the problem lies in the belief that either the individual's company, or their agency will be there when they need it. The truth of the matter is that we are all just one major medial procedure away from possibly losing everything we have worked hard for and maybe even our lives.

Sarah Palin's description of the socialized nightmarish medical "death panels" had me chuckling. My answer upon hearing this? Isn't that what insurance companies are? Their very existence is based upon profit. The fact that they can deny you medical coverage or a procedure or even a medical test based on profit is the worst possible kind of death panel there is. Think you're covered when they deny you? Take them to court and sue them right? That will take you years and lots of money that you probably don't have, because if you did, you'd pay for the medical procedures yourself.

What about the private business man that has worked his entire career and built what he had from the ground up with his own sweat and blood. The ultimate American, hardworking, self-sustaining and conservative. Now this same businessman who pays about $1,500.00 to $2,000.00 a month just for coverage for himself and his spouse is faced with a major heart surgery. After the surgery, he is discovered to be at a high risk of stroke and due to the potential of this, the hospital notifies the Department of Motor Vehicles who will now make a decision that will make or break the self sustaining American. If he loses his driver's license, he loses his business. Now everything he has worked hard for is in jeopardy, his heart condition hasn't magically made itself better. He will no longer be able to afford the medical insurance he was paying for, he has no pension, just those 457's and IRA's that have tanked because of some greedy money managers and CEO's saw it fit to make sure they got their bonuses,regardless of their actions which have sucked a company dry along with all of the pensions of their faithful employees. Now what? Sell the house and begin to dismantle everything that he had worked hard for, and pray, that nothing else happens because now, your life will be weighed against a private business where profits are the bottom line.

Whenever there is a conflict regarding policies or law, you have to ask yourself who is in jeopardy? With public option health care, the insurance companies give up a little profit. Americans however, gain a fighting chance, to keep what they have worked hard for or sacrificed for. The scare tactic of a socialized health care system where you have substandard doctors, nurses and equipment infuriates me. Mostly because those things that we hold so highly in our society are socialized such as:

1. The United States Soldier
2. Law Enforcement Officers
3. Firemen

Yes, I purposely placed law enforcement officers above firemen...don't like it, go to a firefighters blog ;)

To tell me that replacing a privately paid "soldier" whose company is profit driven, with one who serves and sacrifices based on love of country and sense of duty would be tragic. Thankfully, we have a great example of how successful this model is with the Bush Administration and the billions of dollars paid out to private contractors such as Blackwater (who have since changed their name to Xe Services). These PMC's (Private Military Contractors) were given a carte blanche ticket to use unrestrained force which in my opinion, undermined the military mission in Iraq. You had U.S. soldiers risking their lives based on their faith and principles of our nation. Then they see their buddy, who just got out of the service a few months prior, making a six figure income and best of all...they were not subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, the laws of war for an American Soldier. You got all the money and none of the accountability. How demoralizing is that? If you ask me, I'll take the U.S. Soldier who lives by a code over the PMC who lives by the amount of pay they receive any day of the week including Sunday thank you.

The same can be envisioned for those who care for others in the medical services. You will have doctors, nurses and medical practitioners who do what they do because they LOVE to do it. They do it out of a sense of helping others, a sense of humanity, a sense of healing. Right now, a majority of these people are tied into our current system, I'm sure they feel frustrated at times. If they did not feel that way, I don't believe we would have doctors who travel overseas on "workcations" doing pro bono work for those who are less fortunate.

Imagine the level of law enforcement service or fire protection if it were privatized? The ultimate resources of law enforcement only available to those who could afford it. Need latent prints checked or perhaps a DNA comparison? I'm sorry, your coverage does not provide for that. Now, can you currently buy additional protection if you have the means? Yes you can. Many wealthy areas and homeowners pay extra for the additional coverage by way of private security or even private forensic lab work. Why can't we do this with health care? A public option health care system would not "Destroy America" as Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh would have you believe. It would allow those of us who are not exorbitantly wealthy to have peace of mind, without having to fear making a choice of life over finances. It would still allow those who chose to seek the coverage they can afford, the ability to do so.

Taking care of one another isn't evil, it isn't socialist, communist or any other "ist". It's humane, it's Christian, it's the right thing to do. We can all achieve "Self-Actualization" as Abraham Maslow theorized; once our basic needs as a human are met. It is when our basic needs are met that we are then free to reach our greatest potential. I have that wish for our nation and for you. Your life shouldn't be measured against the rise or fall of the American dollar. What it should be measured against is your will to live life to its fullest potential. Nothing more...nothing less...

~me

The Sweetest Gift

It's been awhile since I've posted. The house smells like fresh bread that Heidi has been baking. Right now, I'm sitting in the media room, fiddling with our iPhones and listening to a song a good friend introduced me to a long time ago. Now, I think of the song and of my daughter.

Heidi is putting Jolie to sleep right now, I sure Heidi is looking at Jolie while her eyes begin to close. She is holding her close and stroking her head, perhaps she is even whispering a lullaby to help her sleep. I know what Heidi is thinking right now, it's the same thing that I am. We're both worried about tomorrow. Jolie is scheduled for a minor surgery on her thumb. Apparently there is a tendon over a joint which prevents her from fully extending her thumb. The doctor called it "Trigger thumb". The procedure itself is going to take less than five minutes however, they are going to have to put Jolie under for the duration of the procedure.

She's so tiny, I don't know how we are going to handle that. We'll pray that everything goes well and reassure her that she'll be alright. I'm dreading the morning tomorrow, I don't want to feel as helpless as I know that I am going to. So I'll say a little prayer for my angel monkey right now, who is falling asleep dreaming of the Wonderpets, dreaming of Disneyland, and dreaming about her mother who she loves more than anything in the world.

Goodnight monkey, daddy loves you too...

~me

Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is a word that often comes to mind when I look at myself in the mirror. I often think of people's perceptions of me...not in a sense that my decisions or self-worth is defined by my hoping that their perceptions of me are good. Actually it's quite the opposite. I often wonder if many of those people have "beer goggles" on when it comes to some of the things they say to me at times.

My wife tells me I'm handsome (Of course she's going to say that)...and my friends tell me I'm funny. That I know to be true ;) Actually, there are words that make me feel really uncomfortable such as, "really nice, smart, never loses his temper, and confident." It makes me cringe every time I hear that. Far from fishing for compliments, I look in the mirror and see a skinny migrant farm worker who will never amount to anything. A person who spent their entire childhood answering to racial slurs, being told what limitations they have, being told they were worthless, and being in an environment that fostered it.

A previous failed marriage in which I was the subject of acrimony and enmity, had me feeling like I was in a deep dark well of despair. I guess I never really spoke about it until now. It is amazing how some people can actually make you believe that no one wants you or even likes you. My own mother recognized a change in my spirit. It was during those times that I felt as if I were treading water in an ocean of hopelessness. To this day, I still hold animosity because of how I was made to believe things that no person should. It's coming up on 10 years later and I still can't look her in the eye.

That little kid is still in there somewhere, that little tomato picker, little nigger boy, that worthless Mexican. I look in the mirror and they are all still there. I question myself. How on God's green earth did I make it out? Have I made it out? I grew up in shacks, used outhouses when I was a boy living in a farm worker's camp, watched my father being led away in handcuffs, remember hearing my mother cry herself to sleep at night trying to hold a family together. I can still hear my ex-wife telling me, "I hope you get shot tonight!" As I was preparing to go on duty, still in my field training program and the sadness I felt realizing that this was my wife and the mother of my twin boys.


I clawed my way forward, inch by inch, day by day. I smiled, I cracked jokes, I pretended that all of these things did not happen to me. In my heart, I knew they had. It was usually right after I smiled, or just seconds after I made someone laugh that I would catch a glimpse of my reflection. I wondered, is it me they're laughing at or someone pretending to be me? Whose company did they enjoy?

I guess I asked myself this question right before I took my sergeant's exam almost 3 years ago. I was overcome with emotion at the time, thinking about all those things people told me and the limitations I was given. I thought of my silence, when people would call me names. The silence when people in positions of authority would tell me I wasn't good enough. I was so much more than what they saw. I was weak back then and I realize now, how close they were to having me fulfill their expectations, not mine.

Now I think of those who offered their hands, their words of encouragement, and their love. Although these words can still seem unrealistic in regard to my self-perception, I recognize the humanity in those that offer them. They are angels, they provide me with opportunity, a chance to show them that I am so much more than what the others thought.

There is a new opportunity that has arisen. The self-doubt came back the minute I was made aware of the chance to advance. All of those voices were still in my head, still telling me that I can't, I won't, and I never will. I've been through hell, where being told you were worthless because of the tone of your skin was commonplace if not expected. My family was torn apart several times while I was living at home, and when I started a family of my own, it was in an emotionally abusive relationship.

"Your background and circumstances may influence who you are, but you are responsible for who you become." The most profound words I have ever come across. It has helped me during times of self-doubt, it has provided me with a wonderful new wife, a beautiful family, a wonderful career and most of all, humility. I shouldn't be here...but I am, and I'm not stopping now.

The next few weeks are going to be stressful for me and my family again as I prepare for a new opportunity. I am thankful for what I have now. I love what I do with a passion. I need to gather myself, focus, and rely on what life has taught me. Anything is possible, and the only things that are impossible are those which we are afraid to tread upon. My journey of possibilities began the second I entered the world...

~me

Never Forget

~In Memoriam~

~me